The tall 17-year-old sits in the main hall of the BVES centre for former child soldiers in Bukavu. For the interview, he has chosen the name of Ramazani to protect his real identity.

"At first I thought it was a good life – as long as I was armed, nothing could hurt me. But much later I realized I had no future, I was wasting my life."

A soldier from the age of seven

"I joined an armed group at the age of seven," he explains, "With the security situation in North Kivu at the time, and all the abuses, rapes and looting, I joined to protect myself and my family. I didn't have time to discuss it with my family but I thought they would be proud that I was protecting them." During the next ten years he was used often as a scout, but he says he took part in all activities including robbery and often acted as a bodyguard for senior commanders.

"One day I realized others my age had ambitions and plans for their life. I was in the army, but had nothing. I was losing my childhood." Shortly afterwards, he fled the armed group and turned himself over to the United Nations Mission in Congo which referred him to the BVES centre. When he first went to the United Nations centre, he did not contact his family, for fear the armed group would find him again.

Since then the ICRC has found his family and they have been exchanging Red Cross Messages. He says he is not worried about acceptance. "The Red Cross messages have been very important in regaining contact with my family and the community accepts that we worked to protect them."

Red Cross messages double-edged

But he adds the Red Cross messages have been double-edged. His parents thought he was dead and there has been the joy of learning they are all alive. However, he has also learned his parents are now displaced by the fighting in the area. "I worry about their living conditions as refugees in their own province."

He says he knows that on a humanitarian level, all children are the same, but he also knows there are differences. "Other young people my age have more schooling. They have learned a trade or how to work the fields. I know how to use weapons. I have army experience but I have learned no other activity. I don't have an activity to contribute to the life of the community."

Ramazani says he wants to become an automobile mechanic. But his home province of North Kivu is still the scene of ongoing fighting. "I know how to handle weapons, and with the insecurity I am not sure I will have the opportunity to become a mechanic."

No moral education

Since arriving at the BVES centre in Bukavu, he has changed. He says he was in poor health before, but now he has recuperated. "I have also learned the value of civilian lives; before I had no moral education. Now I have hope to return to my family; before I didn't have any hope."

He says he feels safe at the centre and he is certain he will go back to his family although he doesn't know when. But there are still many child combatants, he says, "there are many younger than me and I wonder how they are living, what they are suffering."