"If there is peace, I will see my parents again; if not, then I won't," says Arwad Abu Shaheen. The morning of 12 March has brought strong but mixed emotions for the 25-year-old woman from the village of Buqa'ta in the occupied Golan. "It is so hard for me to leave the room I grew up in, to leave my village, my family, my friends."

There is the joy of marrying Muhanad Harb, a man she met three years ago. But at the same time she is leaving her family and friends in the occupied Golan to live with her husband in Qraya, a town in Syria about 100 kilometres south-east of Damascus. She does not know when she will be able to see any of them again.

Shortly before noon, the two families gather in the middle of the buffer zone between the Israeli and Syrian checkpoints, at the Kuneitra crossing point – the only place they can meet face-to-face. After waiting two hours, Arwad kisses her parents and family one last time, waves to her friends on the other side of the Israeli checkpoint and walks with her new husband and his family to the Syrian side.

The ICRC, as a neutral intermediary with delegations in Damascus and Tel Aviv as well as an office in the occupied Golan, helped to make it happen. It not only dealt with the paperwork required by both governments, but also arranged the clearance for each guest to get into the buffer zone for the ceremony. The process can require several months.


Separated since 1967

For the members of the two families, the meeting in the buffer zone is not only about the marriage of Arwad and Muhanad; it is also a rare opportunity to meet other family members and close relatives who have been separated since the 1967 ceasefire. Arwad's sister-in-law Suha Abu Shaheen left her family in Syria proper over two years ago to marry Arwad's brother and live with him in the occupied Golan. This was her first opportunity since then to see any of her family.

At first, only about twenty members of each family are allowed into the buffer zone. There are tears and frustration, as those refused wave and shout through the barbed wire and metal fences to attract the attention of family on the other side. Finally, Syrian and Israeli authorities agree to about 60 people from each side, and the lucky ones rush to the middle of the buffer zone to eke out each remaining minute with family they have not seen in years.

The ICRC has been helping arrange weddings like this at the Kuneitra crossing point for the past 20 years. In 2006 there were three, all involving women coming from Syria proper to marry men from Golan. The ICRC also facilitates the crossing by students from occupied Golan to study in Syria – on the morning of Arwad's wedding, 40 students returned to their families in the occupied territory at the end of their semester.


Family visits suspended

In the past, a programme run by the ICRC allowed family members to meet once a year in Syria for two weeks. This was abruptly suspended in 1992, but the ICRC is trying to have it resumed.

"It’s a priority for us," says Mohammed Safadi, the ICRC officer in the occupied Golan. "Local communities see it as the single most important issue tied to the occupation. If the family visit programme resumed, weddings would be purely happy events."

"My child is going away from me, why will I not be allowed to see her again?" asks Arwad's father, Yehya Abu Shaheen. "If they opened the Kuneitra crossing, I would be able to see her every week."

Her brother Tharwat adds: "If, God forbid, something happened to her father, mother, some tragedy, they would not let her come back to the occupied Golan. I don't know why. Believe me, it's cruel."


Read more about ICRC activities in Golan