Caring for Yourself When a Loved One Is Missing: Coping with Uncertainty and Staying Safe
When a loved one goes missing, every day is a struggle between hope and anxiety, anticipation and fear. The lack of clear answers can be overwhelming, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. The International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) understands the deep challenges faced by families of the missing and offers these tips to support you in caring for yourself during this difficult time.
Protect Yourself from Fraud and Exploitation
In times of crisis, people often search for information from any available source, regardless of how reliable it is. Unfortunately, some individuals take advantage of your vulnerability. They might falsely claim to represent the ICRC or other organizations and demand money in exchange for information.
Please remember: all ICRC services are completely free. Never trust anyone asking for payment in return for help. If you receive a suspicious message, phone call, or email, pause before responding. Don’t act under pressure. When in doubt, contact the ICRC through its official channels, such as the ICRC Syria Facebook page or the phone numbers at the end of this article.
Managing Social Media and Information Overload
The urge to constantly search for updates about your loved one is natural, but it can also be emotionally exhausting. Not all information shared online is reliable—some may be misleading or even harmful. Try to limit your exposure to social media and the news. Take regular breaks to protect your mental well-being.
If you have children, be aware of what they may see online. Children sometimes search for answers on their own if they feel left out of conversations. Talk with them openly, using age-appropriate language and providing them with a safe space to express their emotions.
Coping with the Absence of a Loved One
The absence of a loved one without knowing their fate is one of the most difficult types of loss. There is no official verification of their fate—no clear answers, no closure. A person may be physically absent but remains deeply present in the hearts and minds of their loved ones. This constant swing between hope and despair can be emotionally exhausting.
Some families choose to hold on to hope. Others begin to consider all possibilities, including the possibility that their loved one may not return. Both responses are completely valid. There is no right or wrong way to navigate this pain. Even within the same family, each member may react differently. It’s important to acknowledge and respect these differences.
If it helps, consider creating a small ritual, such as a prayer, gathering, or personal ceremony to honor your loved one. There’s no single way to grieve—each family finds its own path.
Speaking with trusted friends, family members, or support groups can also provide comfort and a sense of understanding, even when words feel inadequate.
Taking Care of Yourself in Times of Uncertainty
Make space for small moments of relief: Self-care is not selfish- it’s essential. Try to find small ways to rest and recharge. This could include walking, deep breathing, listening to music, or engaging in religious or spiritual practices.
Take it one step at a time: Coping with uncertainty is a long journey. Don’t worry about the distant future. Focus on what you can do today, even if it’s just a small step.
Verify unofficial information: If you receive news about your loved ones from unofficial sources, such as social media, seek confirmation through the relevant authorities.
You Are Not Alone
No words can truly ease the pain of loss or the anguish of not knowing. But please remember you are not alone.
There are people and organizations ready to support you, including the ICRC. If you are searching for a missing loved one in Syria, you can reach us through the following numbers:
- Front Office Desk +963 936033628
Damascus Mob: +963 93 600 112 / Tel: +963 11 338 060 004
Aleppo Mob: +963 93 003 8337 / Tel: +963 2 122 147 00
Homs Mob: +963 93 603 3624 / Tel: +963 3 122 333 22
Or email us at dam_tracing_services@icrc.org
- For cases related to migration or disasters, you can contact the Syrian Arab Red Crescent (SARC):
Mob: +963 941 174 670 / Tel +963 11 4041
Email: tracing.services@sarc-sy.org
- If you are outside Syria, please reach out to your nearest Red Cross or Red Crescent office to register your case. You can find a contact directory here.
In times of uncertainty, self-care is not just important—it is an act of resilience and strength.
